your standard question to the jeweller is ' does it come any bigger ?' you dye the tabby black.
you have added a 'k' to magic
every surface in your home is covered in melted wax
you refuse to drink anything that isnt served in a chalice
moonwater replaces chardonnay
you vaccum out of respect for the broom
you talk to your plants more than you talk to your children
the only surfaces in the house not covered in wax are covered in crystals
the coffee table is replaced with an altar
purple becomes the new black
you go through 4 eyeliners a week
every broken twig looks like the Horned God
you sons's 21st birthday party is cancelled because it is full moon night
every sentance starts with ' Scott says................'
you have a herniated disc from the amount of crystals you wear around your neck
everything happens in 3's
you cast circle around the dining room table
you show all your friends the star inside an apple
you have read the 'mists of avalon' 14 times
you have 746 pairs of striped socks
the only herb in the kitchen in Mugwort
your husbands filthy mood becomes 'negative energy'
a walk along the beach requires a trailer to get home all the gifts of nature you have found.
the moon wakes you up
you cant understand how Nicole Kidman missed out on an Oscar for 'practical magic'
you are no longer rude & aggressive - you are now strong & opinionated
you end every conversation with 'blessed be'
other witches that treat you 'bad' are obviously 'just not Wiccan'
Your name has changed from 'Mary Jones' to 'Cosmic Desert Rose Weaver'
the permission notes for your daughters excursion are filled out in Runes.
Your bad memory & habit of losing things are blamed on 'the fairies'
You ask your salads permission before eating it.
every woman you meet becomes a 'sister'
no one can understand what you do with all that rock salt!
your car has a 'magick happens' or 'my other car is a broomstick' sticker on the back.
you know the difference between rose quartz & amethyst
you burn lots of stuff
'merry meet' & 'merry part' replace hello & goodbye
your life becomes your journey.
you have a ritual for cleaning out the toilet, depending on moon phase /astrological position of course.
you know ofcourse that JK Rowling is a sister
you throw the words cauldron,waxing, waning, spell, goddess into every conversation you have.
you would sue for defammation of character if someone called you a 'fluffy bunny'
pumpkins are no longer food
you wont start anything new on a waning moon.
incense is now classed as a nessecity rather than a luxury
mowing the lawn is followed by a three day fast
you cry when a tree is cut down.
you are happier than you have ever been.
you wouldnt be seen dead without your cloak
by Lisa Ballico
