The Myth of Union by Lisa Ballico
I have been thinking alot about relationships and about our expectations of others & in return, their expectations of us.
I wonder how true it is that everyone has another person in this world who is the perfect twin flame or soul mate for them.
The more I ponder it, the more I don't see it as likely.
Surely we are born complete?
Surely our 'other half' is within us- maybe dormant or unawakened, but within us all the same.
Is it just some idealised romantic fantasy that we have 'another half' of ourselves out there somewhere that we must constantly search out and look for?
I think so.
Personally, I think we are born whole- body & soul.
I think we are born with what we require to get us through this life time and to acquire the knowledge we need to allow us to grow.
I don't really think we are 'half a person or soul' or 'incomplete'- we may be unawakened but not missing 'another person' to make us whole.
We are, as individuals, each, whole, complete & perfect- the only thing often missing here is the realisation of that. Self realisation.
This world of ours is structured around the 'power of one'.
Each of us is individual and unique and no- one of us is born into this world needing or requiring another soul on this planet to make us capable of achieving divinity, peace and perfection.
Everything we need is within us- our journey, our path; is not about interaction with others, it is about our interaction with ourselves and the God/Goddess energy that is within us all.
If you feel less than worthy, no one else can give you self esteem and self value.
If you feel guilt or shame, no one else can give you forgiveness
If you feel unloved, no one else can give you the love you require - they may try, but you will always be feeling unloved and undervalued until you learn to love & value yourself.
I think that sex/gender is an unfair separator, because with in us all, we are both male & female, and both together make one- the complete unit.
In a lot of ways, this is confronting because so many of us are bought up believing that answers and solutions in life are external, and come in the form of friendships, partnerships, associations, etc.
We are taught to 'seek' awareness, enlightenment, answers,from books, churches, wise people when in truth, all we need is already with us.
We are told that unless we find our 'soul mate' or 'twin flame' we can never experience the truest love or completion of ourselves.
I just don't believe that anymore.
It scares me a bit to think I ever did.
I think this idea of gaining perfection through another is nice but just not feasible nor realistic.
It puts a huge amount of pressure on us to come up with the right partner and a huge amount of pressure on our partner, with us , expecting in our mind and heart, for this partner to complete us and make us whole. To be our answer.
It also gives us a cop out when things go wrong and an opportunity to shed our responsibility by blaming another.
Rather than another person doing making us whole, i feel maybe it is the act of loving that provides the key.
Perfect love doesn't have to be 'partnership love'- love of children, animals, life, self, all come into this as well. There are many ways to experience true love but none of them come from without- all are within you, within your souls.
The old saying about 'you come into this world alone and you leave alone' is true.
Our journeys, though intertwined are individual and each of us has a path separate to every other to tread.
Love is not an emotion, it is a state of being that we are all born into.
We may hide it along the way or lose sight of it, but it is always there waiting to recognised and activated within us.
I am so blessed to have a wonderful partner and his support & love of me is a huge aspect of my life, however he doesn't complete me any more than I complete him.
How selfish i would be to want him to think I did?
We are individuals choosing to love & be together in this life time.
He would not have died if he hadn't met me nor vice versa- he would have just lived life on a different path, in a different way.
Does any of this make sense ?
Maybe, maybe not.........to me now it does because i don't want to think I am dependant on someone/something else to make my life journey a success, to make me complete. I need to know, acknowledge that this is my path, my journey and I have been sent in with all the tools required to make it work.
There is always interaction with others but truthfully, i believe, the buck stops here, with me.
I am everything I need to be to find peace.
You are too.
