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Men In Pain- Blogging as Therapy
In my work as a spiritual support person , I have met a lot of people, trying hard to deal with a large range of incredible hardship. My heart is always touched however, by the guys I meet, who after surffering a breakdown in relationship find themselves alone in a world that wants them to get up, dust off and start over again. Seldom is it that easy. The saddest people are always the guys between about 35 and 55, who after 20 plus years in a relationship, find themselves alone. In many ways, its like being the only person left on earth- all structure is removed and along with it, all joy, no matter how real or imagined it was. The loss of home, relationship, routine and children cause a tremendous strain on most guys who then at 40 or so, find themselves back at square one but without the support of the network they have had over the last 20 years. More often than not, 'friends' turn out to be the Wife's friends, and parents , if still living, are often in a state of ill health or just too aged to lend much real emotional support. Work becomes either solace or nightmare depending on the support offered there, and then there is the awful feelings of lonliness, rejection and abandonment to deal with as well. Diet suffers as does sleep.
Missing intimacy and missing kids is another key factor, as is societies burdenous attitude of 'she'll be right mate' or 'plenty more fish in the sea'. Add to this the storm of jealousy if the ex partner finds a new partner and what we have is a nightmare of the human condition. When i am working with men , I always encourage them to get their feelings out there and the way i do this is simply by starting a weblog or journal. The effects of being able to 'release' on a regular basis cannot be understated, and the actual writing of emotions and issues forces one to consider the emotions and issues at hand, and then if they choose, to deal with them. I have had much success with this and while I find that many guys will stop blogging after a period of time, the actual process is of help to them when they need it the most. Its something to consider, is cheap and theraputic- its also recording the darkest periods of your life awhich is important becasue only by knowing where we have come from, can we see where we are going. Blogspot is a good place to start.
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Contributor's Note
I have included a link to weblog of a man I am working with at the moment- why not drop by and lend him some support, it is always welcome. However, be warned, it is a site of raw, graphic emotion and may offend some viewers.
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Adam's Journey
The Goddess In ALL Of Us
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